Januar 8th, 2008 by admin

Because of the upcoming years’ rash of cancelled awards ceremonies, I will offer nominees and winners in each category. Enjoy it?

BEST CONCERT OF 2007
Sonic Youth @ McCarren Pool – July 28
Beastie Boys @ Central Park – August 8
Wilco @ Warsaw – June 26
Queens Of The Stone Age @ Madison Square Garden Theater – October 13
Clinic w/ Holy Fuck @ Gramercy Theater – March 9

And the winner is…
BEASTIE BOYS IN CENTRAL PARK!

MP3: “The Sprawl” – Sonic Youth
This was my favorite song of the night. It has a really fun and catchy chorus, and I couldn’t physically deal with how cool Kim Gordon looked when she played it. Like, my jealousy morphed into sadness, because she’s so much better at everything than me.

MP3: “Spiders (Kidsmoke)” – Wilco
Big fucking deal, I love Wilco. Nels Cline wielded his axe so hard during this song, that by the end of it, everyone was drenched in HIS sweat. This song is really easy to passively listen to, but not when it’s live and pretty much sprayed all over you (gross).

MP3: “Sky Is Fallin’” – Queens Of The Stone Age
When my friends and I got drinks before the show I declared, “If they play ‘Sky Is Fallin’ I will buy the entire audience a round.” It’s long been a favorite, and even though I’d seen them a zillion (okay, four) times prior, I’ve never heard it live. It was so worth the wait, and I didn’t buy a round for all 2499 other concertgoers.

MP3: “2/4″ – Clinic
This was a helluva show. They played with Holy Fuck! Do you realize how much I love these two bands? Do you realize what my brain did when I found out they were playing TOGETHER? Anyway, Clinic was actually religious. They played this during the encore; it was really loud and made me a little dizzy. Also: GREAT new venue.

MP3: “Time For Livin’” – Beastie Boys
This is Mike D’s interpretation of a Sly and the Family Stone song. It was a really good opening number, because it got everyone really pumped (except the WASP couple in front of my friend and I who ATE DINNER FROM A PICNIC BASKET DURING THE SHOW). A lot of you probably find these guys old and irrelevant, but well, I don’t. They put on the perfect live show – rife with between-song banter, Money Mark’s acrobatics, Calder mobiles, and impeccable tailoring. I think it’s worth noting that for every other audience member, this show might as well have been “Rya Featuring the Beastie Boys” as I was… very vocal about knowing every word to every song.

WORST CONCERT OF THE YEAR
Patrick Watson @ Joe’s Pub – September 16

MP3: “Luscious Life” – Patrick Watson
I’m sure there were shittier shows, but I had the privilege of seeing this guy. I read The Secret this year, so I know I’m not supposed to say negative stuff, but… well, everything about this man and his band gave me a case of the idiot shivers that lasted for DAYS. You’ll probably like “Luscious Life” if you’re one of those Garden State types.

BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR
LCD Soundsystem, Sound of Silver
Les Savy Fav, Let’s Stay Friends
Chromeo, Fancy Footwork
Queens Of The Stone Age, Era Vulgaris
Holy Fuck, Holy Fuck
Clinic, Visitations

And the winner is…
ERA VULGARIS!

MP3: “New York, I Love You…” – LCD Soundsystem
This song is a little insulting, but I like that it makes me angry. Having spent 19 of my 21 (and a half) years in Manhattan, I can understand James Murphy’s tired argument. I get it, NYC isn’t as fun as it used to be – but didn’t James Murphy choose to move here? It reminds me a little bit of my Persian relatives who love to hate America, but deep down know they would never want to live anywhere else.

MP3: “Slugs In The Shrubs” – Les Savy Fav [zShare Link]
I don’t think I ever told Derek how much I love this album; I thought it would tread on some weird, ass-kissing, fangirl territory. Let’s Stay Friends is really fun to listen to all the way through, which is among other things, convenient. This is my favorite song on the album. If I listen to it while I’m walking on the street, I feel like mowing over a tourist.

MP3: “Fancy Footwork” – Chromeo [zShare Link]
This will be the year Dave 1 and I will share a Shabbat dinner (yes, that’s what they call it these days). I love everything about this song, and I can safely admit that I have danced by myself to this song more than anything else this year. Most of you probably find Chromeo to be a bit gimmicky, but I don’t; they take their craft way too seriously. For a good time, fast forward to 1:59. Oh MY-fucking-LANTA, Dave 1’s “eyyyy” is… I can’t put it in words.

MP3: “Frenchy’s” – Holy Fuck [zShare Link]
Once “Lovely Allen” starts getting tired (and trust me, it’ll start getting a little too epic around the 9 squillionth listen), you’ll yearn to listen to discover what else these guys are capable of (hint: it sounds nothing like “Lovely Allen”). This track, like most of the Holy Fuck’s work, kind of sucks you in, and you’ll find it hard to do anything else but listen to it.

MP3: “The New Seeker” – Clinic [zShare Link]
This album came out on iTunes in 2006, but it came out in the FLESH in 2007 – for that sole reason it could be one of my favorite albums two years in a row. This is my favorite song on the album, for among other reasons, the fun ending.

MP3: “Run Pig Run” – Queens of the Stone Age [zShare Link]
When I learned that the new Queens’ album would be nearly void of all celebrity cameos, I had my doubts. Could I handle (with the exception of Julian Casablancas, their BFF Mark Lanegan, and Trent Reznor on a non-album track) nothing but Josh and Co? Why, yes, I can! QOTSA are one of my favorite bands ever, because they never fail to deliver a great product. They always make good on their promise of being loud, sexy, dark, and fun – whether or not they’re flanked with additional talents. They’ve also mastered the art of the mind-blowing final track; “Run Pig Run” is a great closer.

FAVORITE RE-ISSUE OF THE YEAR
The Traveling Wilburys, The Traveling Wilburys Collection
I was tempted to say Daydream Nation but… I’m more partial to Goo. Anyway, your dad probably has this record, and he probably played it in the car when you were little, and you probably bitched and whined and told him to shut it off. But now you’re a grown-up, and you’re over being rebellious, and you realize your dad’s pretty much always right. This is just a little more proof. I bought it on iTunes so I can’t post anything from it, so go do the prudent thing and buy it.

These are just some other songs I liked this year, in no particular order. Consider it a poorly-made mixtape for all of you, my internet lovers. I don’t think I have a favorite track, and I’m probably forgetting some songs – hope you don’t lose any sleep over that:

FAVORITE TRACKS OF THE YEAR
01. “Timebomb” – Beck [zShare Link]
02. “The Way I Are” – Timbaland [zShare Link]
03. “The Ghost Of You Lingers” – Spoon [zShare Link]
04. “Big Shit Poppin’ (Do It)” – TI [zShare Link]
05. “Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time” – Jarvis Cocker [zShare Link]
06. “Success” (ft. Nas) – Jay-Z [zShare Link]
07. “Tonto” – Battles [zShare Link]
08. “Re-Up Anthem” (Nick Catchdubs Remix) – Clipse [zShare Link]
09. “Hot Knives” – Bright Eyes [Alternate Link]
10. “My Life’s Alright With You” – No Age [Alternate Link]

Okay, I know this is kind of Derek’s territory… but these were my favorite music videos of the year:

VIDEO: “Burn My Shadow” – Unkle [YouTube]
I’m usually not that into videos that incorporate sound other than the song being promoted (with a few exceptions, like that Metallica video with a stripper). UNKLE videos are pretty much always good, because they’re like compelling short films set to music – those types don’t come around too often.

VIDEO: “Roy Rules” – Andy Samberg [YouTube]
As far as I’m concerned, this is a real song. “Roy Rules” is a real song that gets stuck in my head really often. I’m not about to go on an “SNL sucks” diatribe (I’m in no mood to reinstate the obvious – OH, SNAP). But seriously, I think this video is really funny. Way funnier than that Iran song bullshit. BONUS: Whoever can name what else “Roy” has been in may be my new boyfriend (some – okay, many – exceptions apply).

VIDEO: “Been There All The Time” – Dinosaur Jr. [YouTube]
Matt Dillon directed this music video – reason enough! Okay, seriously, the low-angle shots of Mascis are mildly unsettling, but I still like the video’s concept. If I understand correctly, Coco Gordon-Moore and her buddies are jamming, and then they turn into Dinosaur Jr. after they’re prompted by Coco’s father to play “that new” Dinosaur Jr. song. Oh, and Thurston sounds like such a dad when he goes “eyyyyy! Whoawhoawhoawhoahoa!” at 13 seconds.

VIDEO: “Sensual Seduction” – Snoop Dogg [YouTube]
I don’t think this requires an explanation.

VIDEO: “Mr. Right” – Mickey Avalon [YouTube]
His schtick is pretty boring already, and if I hear that Boost Mobile song one more time, I will actually foam at the mouth (in a bad way). I like this video though, because it reminds me of when I went to New York Film Academy in 11th grade and tried to make really serious “films” about suicide and shit… and they’re really laughable in retrospect. I’m still trying to figure out if the director possessed a similar sense of irony.

VIDEO: “Nessun Dorma” – Paul Potts [YouTube]
Okay, Paul Potts is SO WEIRD AND GIFTED. I so badly want to be like “GROSS! CHOMPERS!” but I can’t, because he’s so talented and he’s got such a good name. This is his entire underdog story, in under five minutes. Watch him charm Simon, and then wonder what you’ve done with YOUR life.

FAVORITE MUSIC MADE BY MY FRIENDS
MP3: “I Want You To Violate Me” – Naughty [zShare Link]
MP3: “I Got Your Panties” – Naughty [zShare Link]
This is my friend Sheff-Dawg’s 80’s hair metal band. They’re a lot like Chromeo in that they take their art SUPER seriously – this song is too good to just be passed off as a joke. It will be in your head for days, and you’ll seduce yourself to it.

MP3: “First Tent Reprise” (Vocal Edit) – Jacques Pleasurecruise [zShare Link]
This is a song by my best friend’s alias. He’s so good at everything that I kind of wonder why he humors me – he was even a Do! (recognize him now, ladies?). This song is really short, but it’s really fun to listen to on repeat, and I like the lyrics.

Okay, I’m kind of over music now here are some other favorite things…

FAVORITE YOUTUBE VIDEO: Black Cougar
This was probably my favorite video on Youtube from this year. Not racist, but when I hear the words “Black Cougar,” people like Halle Berry come to mind. But this video has nothing to do with her.

FAVORITE PHONE CONVERSATION: Pothead Cop
This isn’t a video, and it’s a little long-ish, but it’s a phone conversation between a 911 operator and a man who is in the middle of a marijuana “overdose” yielded from brownies. I found this really hilarious and quotable (”I think we’re dead,” “time is going by really, really, really slow”)
until I remembered that time I was in a similar predicament.

FAVORITE TV MOMENT IN 2007: Rosie and Elisabeth
Okay, I saw this happen LIVE, and I was so grateful for being on my couch at that very moment in time. The stars aligned, and it was SO FUCKING DEEP. Just watch Joy Behar’s face, watch the fake segue to a commercial break. I shed a tear for the Writers Strike every day, but this was further proof that the best television needs no script. Rosie and Elisabeth are vocal and passionate about their political ideologies, and I guess this is what happens when politics gets personal. I could use some lessons for the coming months.

I saw some movies this year too, like Stomp The Yard (on HBO). I don’t know if I can comment on that movie because it was really hard for me to suspend my reality about these grown men who take dancing very seriously and stick out their tongues for “flair.” Other than that, I think Sicko and Superbad were my favorite movies of the year. I’m losing my health insurance in May, and despite its biases, Michael Moore’s documentary made me realize how fucked up that is. I also liked how he explained how mediated our realities are (why we’re hardwired to hate France, Cuba)… ANYWAY. Superbad was SO good because I am Evan. Oh, and my mother made me see La Vie en Rose and I cried like a newborn the whole fucking time, so I guess I liked it for reminding me that I’m not heartless.